First let me say that my apparent fascination with alliteration hasn’t gone unnoticed. I hadn’t realised I was quite so obsessed!
Perhaps a slightly misleading title for this blog topic, though I hope an attention grabbing one. I wish to approach the subject of ‘severe’ punishments. For the most part I am referring to caning, although my point is possibly valid for some spanking sessions too.
I will start by making a declaration:
It is a fact that I am not the hardest caner on the scene. I’m not ashamed to admit that as it simply isn’t my goal.
Every so often I am approached by a new client requesting a ‘severe’ punishment. Not only is this difficult to judge as the word itself has very different meanings to different people, but it also adds a certain amount of pressure to my role. Generally, people who request this type of session as their first are experienced on the Pro scene and have visited several Ladies in the past. As a relative newbie to the professional circuit, this can automatically give you some rather large boots to fill!
Prior to offering Disciplinary services, the vast majority of my CP experience was gained in one to one D/s relationships. These, like most human relationships that don’t involve the exchange of money, were gradually built up over time. Often, I would chat for several weeks with someone online before agreeing to meet in person. Play was certainly never on the menu until a much later stage, and would then only begin at a low intensity while we took the time to build trust and learn each other’s reactions and preferences.
Meeting and playing with clients on a professional basis is an entirely different beast! Though I always take the time to have a chat prior to commencing the session, it can often be no more than 15 minutes before the two of you, as strangers, are up and playing. Of course, the more people you meet on this basis, the easier it becomes to read signs and notice subconscious hints during play, but it still won’t happen instantly.
I would much rather err on the side of caution for a first meet and leave you potentially wanting a little more as opposed to simply ploughing ahead and dealing out as severe a caning as I can muster. The implications are far greater if it’s taken beyond your limits than if I leave you feeling like you could’ve taken a tad more from me.
Generally, I seek the kinds of relationships I am used to – ones that develop over time. I prefer to learn and grow with a person, pushing them a little further each time and testing boundaries. I appreciate this will not always be the case in this industry – not everyone will share my opinion and desire for something as longstanding. Many people adore the quick thrill of visiting different Ladies each time. It adds to the anticipation, after all.
It is mentioned on my site that I will not book a Judicial style scene with anyone I’ve never played with before. I find that too dangerous a way to be formally introduced. I would go as far as to say that the same applies for severe punishments. If I don’t know you at all (save for an email exchange and a quick cup of coffee), I won’t be able to tell if you are in trouble as easily. It may be that you are usually able to take extremely hard beatings but for some reason today it is hurting in a way you cannot handle. Can you imagine the panic of trying to communicate this to me if we’ve agreed it should be severe and I should carry on despite complaints?
A very regular client of mine was due for punishment recently. It was to be a harsh one as he had broken a direct promise to me. Over several months we have developed a fantastic relationship and I can read this gentleman better than he can (he would agree or, at least, he’d better do!). He takes a very good beating indeed. We began with a hand spanking for a warm up and after only five minutes with a firm hand he had begun to squirm in a way that was usually reserved for much later in our sessions.
Neither of us really know quite what – perhaps the weather, perhaps the very severe scolding beforehand – but something unexpected had affected his pain tolerance that day. Adjustments were made very quickly regarding the intensity of the warm up and his position, and soon the nasty pain had passed and he was able to withstand the usual force.
Had that been someone I had no prior knowledge of, I could quite easily have taken those early squirming signs as good ones and ignored any protestations believing them to be very much part of the play. This would leave the onus on the submissive to stop the play – not something many submissives either want or are good at. Highly unlikely I’d have seen that client again under those circumstances.
I appreciate this blog may deter some of the harder players out there from booking with me, but I would rather put you off than have you book with me for all the wrong reasons. I don’t want you here simply because I have canes and advertise services. I want you to come because you want to play with ME. I won’t session with just anyone who can stump up the cash, so why should it be the same the other way around?
This is not a competition. It’s not a race to see who can take the most or how badly you can be marked.
If the sole focus of your session is to experience the hardest possible punishment, I am not the Disciplinarian for you. There are others out there (and I can recommend one or two) who can and will wallop you with far greater intensity.