A Year Along the Road to Submission

As many of you have spotted, today marks the first anniversary of my disciplinary career. Exactly one year ago today, I met and sessioned with my first professional client. I’m proud to say that the same gentleman is still attending regular sessions with me and, together, we have embarked on a fantastic journey of our own.

Why not read through his words below and decide for yourself if you too would benefit from such an experience?

 

“It is now a year since I first met Miss Kendal, and what a year it has been, a year in which I have matured from a teenage boy (in my mind) to Miss Kendal’s 57-year-old sub.

 

I had seen Miss Kendal’s profile on a spanking website and had been intrigued by her approach which was quite different to the corny or extreme ones. Instead her profile was littered with, ‘And though she be but little she is fierce’ ‘know what you desire before contacting me’ it had said and that intrigue had continued through my early communication with her, even down to the method for accessing her contact details. Then before I really realised what I had done I had booked my first appointment.

 

I remember distinctly that first meeting, sat outside a pub in the early autumn sunshine, me explaining (waffling really) about my desire to recreate my youth. I was a complete novice and was watching Miss Kendal, an experienced professional Disciplinarian I thought (not knowing I was one of her first professional clients), waiting for her to lead me to the pre-booked hotel room and deal with her naughty nephew. A pre-planned scenario. In that budget hotel bedroom Miss Kendal, almost immediately, created an electric atmosphere. I was terrified and excited at the same time but more importantly I was hooked. The session was only for one hour, but as I walked out of the door with my first of many sore bottoms I was already planning the next session.

 

I have since played with Miss Kendal on 12 further occasions in her private play room, initially following the Stern Aunt/naughty nephew role play. With each of these meetings my confidence grew and Miss Kendal introduced new and exciting techniques which completely enthralled me. My naughty nephew was growing with my confidence, but that journey was about to change completely just before December last year when, in a particularly intense session, I was transported from bent over Aunty’s chair to the most incredible place in the world, and it was in my own mind. That very first intriguing profile on the internet had said Miss Kendal only needed ‘her body and my mind’, and as my confidence had grown and my nerves fallen away I had given up my body and mind and now was experiencing subspace for the very first time, and it was the most incredible place I have ever been. It was Wembley and Twickenham and Disney Land and the Empire State Building all rolled into one and more!

 

From this point onwards my journey into submission has raced forward like a roller coaster. Miss Kendal has, expertly and with care and consideration, steered me through emotions and experiences I had never imagined nor could have contemplated. In less than 12 months my life has changed forever. Under Miss Kendal’s guidance and control in her play room I have grown in stature and realised a humility so far from my normal life that it is almost unrecognisable, but nonetheless is still captivating and thrilling and continues to grow with each session.

 

I feel real and absolute joy from each time we meet. I desperately need to please Miss Kendal at any cost. I have been beaten with every instrument imaginable, restrained naked to a spanking bench, stood in isolation in the corner desperately needing attention and fearing it would not come, have begged to be punished, have grovelled on all fours, and even kissed the floor! I have spent happy moments under Miss Kendal’s feet. I have experienced fear and exhilaration at the same time in equal parts, but above all else I have learned to submit completely and without question to Miss Kendal for her satisfaction and enjoyment.

 

This journey has also changed our relationship along the way, over the months I have battled with my emotions not wanting to be labelled and again Miss Kendal’s aftercare and comforting advice has guided me through this. Our level of trust has also moved significantly, from a position of trust based purely around discretion, to complete and unqualified trust for my safety and wellbeing when I am in her play room and particularly when I am in sub space. This trust, like the entire relationship, has grown without need to discuss it, but just simply through an understanding built between us. I now consider I have a friendship with Miss Kendal which is built around her professionalism and understanding of my needs. A friendship which allows me to submit without question and is mutually rewarding.

 

Very early in our relationship I sat uncomfortably after a session and said to Miss Kendal “I can’t believe I’m telling you this…..” and now in only a few months I am happy to tell you all what a fabulous, powerful, strong, and yet caring Disciplinarian Miss Kendal is. It is an absolute pleasure for me to submit to her and  I look forward to continuing with my journey and, most importantly, Miss Kendal leading me along the path!”

New Website

New Website

A very warm (bottomed) welcome to my new website. I hope you all enjoy looking through.

 

Please read these notes as many of you will notice little changes here and there:

  • The Naughty Corner is an area reserved for regular clients who have enjoyed at least five sessions with me. Those select few will have already been sent the password. If you have recently begun a disciplinary journey with me, then you will have been added to my list and will be sent the password upon completion of your fifth session.
  • The Availability Calendar will allow you to plan your sessions with more ease. It is straightforward to use and will be updated regularly. This is to be your first point of call for my availability and will help clear my inbox therefore giving you quicker response times.
  • There is a whole new section for Other Services. I have been trialling some additional services behind the scenes and have chosen the most successful and enjoyable of them to begin offering to the public. Please browse this section and the FAQ’s for each. These services are open to all, regardless of location.
  • You may note a slight increase to my session fees. This is to bring myself up to a competitive level with industry standards. All sessions that are currently confirmed with me will be honoured at the previous rates. All new sessions will be subject to the current ones.

There is a vast amount of information here already; I have poured my heart and soul into this new site and I truly hope it shows. As with my previous site, I will update this one regularly so it’s important to check back from time to time so you don’t miss opportunities or exciting news.

Thank you all so much for your time, attention and continued support. I am honoured to be celebrating my first Discipliniversary with you.

 

‘Miss’ – A Poem By CP


Miss

_________

Thirty-five days of summer
Have so quickly bustled past
As reckoning day arrives
And attendance is confirmed

Cocksure confidence is gone
Slowly evaporated
Defeated by time’s seepage
Accountability hurts

Collected and collated
Ticket, off-peak, day return
Journal, pen, laptop, wallet
Courage, disgrace, excuses

Travel plans, due north-west
Sixty-seven miles by road
And yet further still by train
Prolonging the agony

_________

Just an hour, tick, bloody, tock
Longest, slowest, shuffling mile
Imagined scenarios
And rehearsed conversations

Estate, street, alley, arch, door
Her domain hoves into view
Tension climbs, soars, disables
Leaden feet, and trembling limbs

Don’t be early, don’t be late!
Hands slide over textured black
Fingers caress matt silver
Two carefully measured taps

Breathless anticipation
Heart, restless and galloping
Stomach pit turning, churning
Yearning for her attention

_________

She hears, seconds become hours
Her muted, muffled approach
Metallic, click, slide, rattle
Opening, slow, revealing

Smouldering, tumbling tresses
Scarlet, vermillion, blood-red
Eyes, azure, ice blue, piercing
Frozen captive in their gaze

Calm, control, tea and reflection
My deepest thoughts, fears, laid bare
Confession and contrition
Prelude to the main event

Ascent, familiar room
I wait, time is standing still
She is here, but silence reigns
Nothing else exists, matters

_________

For a while, I belong to her
There is no alternative
Honesty, trust, absolute
Nakedness and submission

Her theatre, arena and stage
Composer and conductor
Orchestra and instruments
For a single spectator

Shuffling, shifting awkwardly
In the spotlight of her glare
Ice, fire, passion overture
The performance has begun

Symphony of ecstasy
High and low notes, tones precise
Phrases pauses, repeated
And breathing to their rhythm

_________

Wave after wave, loud crashes
Silent interludes tumbling
High-intensity building
Striking impact and effect

Percussive final movement
A thrashing wild crescendo
Convulses, sighs, writhes and flies
And ends, satisfied and spent

The palette of an artist
Purple, red, lines and designs
Slowly, lovingly, layered
On the barest white canvas

Comfort, care, gentle release
Milky balm, soft, tender touch
Slow descent from heady heights
To her welcoming embrace.

_________

I hold a little too long
Squeeze her a little too hard
Breathe deep of her fragrant musk
I just want the clock to stop

Cleanest slate, brightest colours
Richest sounds, highest high
Elation beyond compare
Sweetness of absolution

By CP

Learning Submission

Learning Submission

Something a little different for my blog – a guest piece, written by Subservient One.

___________________________________________________________

The recent outcry over BBC pundits pay and the clear gender gap is difficult to get too excited about particularly when so many women worldwide reside in real poverty, however, it does reflect that even in elite society patriarchy is alive and well. It’s this real context of a still avowedly patriarchal society that we need to understand the role of F/m D/s relationships and the growing scene of Professional Dominatrix/Disciplinarians and those with whom they work.

We men who claim to be submissive are still operating within a world in which our sense of entitlement is unconsciously assumed most certainly by ourselves and often by those to whom we seek to submit. The culture of patriarchy runs deep. The FemDom/Disciplinarian scene is not immune to this. The sense of entitlement is represented in the constant frustration of so many contemporary professional Dommes with some of their potential submissives, this recent post by my my own Disciplinarian eloquently questions this ‘entitlement culture’ amongst some ‘submissive’ men. Miss K articulates clearly how she views the professional Disciplinarian relationship and seeks to move it away from the dynamic of consumer and service provider. We submissives would do well to heed this call and take a serious look at our own desires for ‘submission’ and seek through honest reflection to question how ‘submissive’ we really are.

My own journey over the last nine months, under Miss K’s guidance, has been from years of constant revisiting ‘groundhog day’ style, two or three long term fantasies and role plays with different Dommes, into a serious long term D/s relationship. In this I am learning to put my Disciplinarians needs first over my supposed understanding of my own. This is of course a dialogue of honesty and self examination on both our parts, but results in my own desires for TRUE submission being more fully met by increasingly putting the session in the total control of Miss K and my contribution to planning the session’s structure reducing over time.

If we are truly submissive we have to – in dialogue with our Dommes – free our desires and relationships from the grip of patriarchal and consumerist culture. Much FemDom culture is in the realm of women seeking to meet the fantasies of men who are not interested in challenging patriarchy and whose fantasies owe more to the manufactured desires of the corporate male controlled porn industry then their own possibly deeply buried submissive needs or a real respect for women of power.

Male submission should be an anti patriarchal  political project where the personal as political is powerfully lived. Our sessions should have an impact on our lives. We should become men who long for the full self realisation of all the women in our lives and sacrifice ourselves to that goal. The financial transaction between Dommes and male submissives in professional domination is then not a transaction of service provider and consumer but a symbolic enactment of the redistribution of wealth and power required in our world in order to achieve the bringing down of the system of male oppression. I increasingly realise that my desire for submission is NOT rooted in the spanking my mother gave me at 9, but in the longing for a world in which the beauty of a fully realised women of power is honoured and respected.

___________________________________________________________

See Subservient One’s Twitter Profile @redbottomedboy

You Get What You Pay For

You Get What You Pay For

I was reading over the boards of a spanking forum recently and happened across a thread where a few gents were discussing the services of a particular Lady. One comment, although apologetic, was slightly negative. Of course, we don’t all expect to be everyone’s cup of tea but the reasoning for his negative experience left me feeling a tad infuriated.

The gent in question had specific ‘desires’, shall we say, for the way his spanking should be administered. One of these desires included the possibility of viewing part of the Lady’s undergarments, of which he had been understandably refused. Money was then mentioned. It appeared that it was the belief of this gent that, because he was paying for the experience in question, he should be granted certain wishes, and seemingly without question.

It’s not the first time I’ve encountered this opinion, nor is it my first experience of clients wanting an element of control over their session. It did however, lead me to think it would be a good topic for a blog post.

In industry and business, it’s often absolutely correct – the customer is always right. Customer service is pushed in our faces from all angles and many (if not most) of us have probably had to sit through a mind-numbing training session on how to appease customers at one time or another. The customer is at the heart of almost every business. By pleasing the customer, a company will encourage repeat business and therefore survive longer. 

In the service industry, you can place expectations on the level of service you receive. If, for any reason, it is unsatisfactory, there are usually complaints procedures in place. Oftentimes you will be granted a refund or other financial gesture to ensure the company’s reputation remains intact. It makes sense. It works in business. As a result, we are all used to getting what we want, when we want and exactly how we want it, and complaining if we don’t.

Should that apply in the FemDom industry?

(I use the term FemDom – Female Domination – for ease, to include the spanking scene).

Yes! On some levels, it absolutely should apply to the level of service our professionals provide, though not exactly in the way some of you think it should. Your money isn’t buying you full rights over your session or the Lady herself.

What You’re Paying For

Discretion

Many, if not all, of my clients are married, in relationships or not ‘out’ publicly about their kinky side. They seek professional services so they can explore their desires without the risk of being caught or outed. By contacting and paying for a professional you have the right to request and expect anonymity.

Accessibility

As a professional offering any kind of Domination service, there are various profiles to create and maintain. Ladies often have their own websites too so that they may convey necessary information to prospective clients. Although there are some free places to advertise, the more successful ones come at a cost. Part of the fee you pay for your sessions goes towards the time and money spent on developing websites and professional profiles so that the end user can see more readily what is available on the scene.

Convenience

Imagine how much more difficult it would be to get the fetish play that you crave if there were no professionals and you were reliant upon contacting individuals online to establish relationships. I expect many people would struggle to find what they need this way and, even if by chance they did, it would take a great deal more time and effort than a quick email or application form to a professional. You are paying for the convenience of being able to connect with someone instantly without having to follow lengthy social protocols beforehand.

In addition, many Ladies on the circuit do this full time, others may only work part time hours in a vanilla job to enable longer availability for sessions. This means that a large part, if not all, of their income is obtained through the services they offer. We all have homes and bills just as anyone else does. The fees you pay contribute to our cost of living so that we may be available for sessions at convenient times of day.

Experience

Providing you do your research and choose wisely when selecting a professional, you can expect to play with someone who is experienced in your desired fetish play. They will have probably explored it many times before and encountered the various issues that can arise with any form of BDSM play. They will understand what safety measures need to be taken and how different people can react to situations. Generally (certainly with the Ladies I’ve had the pleasure to meet so far), they will be constantly looking to learn and improve their skill set and service level. It’s a natural thing to want to better yourself continuously. Therefore, they may attend costly events, workshops, fetish fairs or travel to visit mentors to fully explore and enjoy the fetishes they indulge in professionally. As a paying customer, you are investing in this continued learning process and benefitting greatly from the experience they offer.

Skill Level

As with experience, the skill level of professionals is something I feel you can have expectations over. Again though, this is partly dependant on you taking the time to select the right person for you. There are many ways to determine the skill levels of a Lady before you contact her. Her online profiles will often be geared towards marketing herself in this way. By paying a professional you should feel comfortable that you will be playing with someone who has developed skills in your particular area of interest. 

Professionalism

Is this not the very essence of customer service? If you contact a Lady politely and show her that you have taken the time to understand her expectations for initial contact, you will find you are greeted with a high level of professional customer service. Ladies want to session with respectful and polite clients, therefore we will be respectful and polite in response.

The level of professionalism should be maintained throughout your relationship, however long it may be. Your boundaries should be respected, be that in terms of play limits or social boundaries. Unless otherwise agreed for session purposes, you are entitled to expect to be treated with dignity and met with a non-judgemental attitude. You should be able to expect a level of professionalism in any conversations you have with the Lady either before or after a session. You are paying for the right to maintain a professional distance from the person you are sessioning with so that it does not interfere with other aspects of your life.

Safety

You should absolutely expect safety as part of your service. The premises you play in should be safe, clean and equipped with necessary medical supplies for emergencies. Almost all fetish play comes with some risk (it’s part of the reason we love it), so there should always be procedures in place to minimise this and deal competently with any issues that may arise. I would have no issue if any of my clients, as paying customers, enquired about my safety procedures or medical supplies prior to playing. In fact, it would rather impress me!

A Female Dominant

If you book and pay for the services of a Female Dominant (in whatever capacity), you should be able to expect to meet and play with a Female Dominant. Now, this is where the confusion seems to lie for some.

The Lady you are booking to play with is Dominant – she identifies as a Top with whatever label best suits her. She will have her own limits and expectations. She will have rules and reasons for them (which she is not obliged to share with you). She will be an individual, a real person. That, you can guarantee. You cannot expect a Lady to do anything that is beyond her limits simply because you are paying to be there. That is not what your money is buying you. That is your sense of entitlement getting the better of you. You wouldn’t have your limits crossed, so why on earth should we just for cash? 

It’s reasonable to make requests in some cases, unless of course it is clear from the Lady’s profiles that what you are asking is absolutely not on offer. Then it just becomes rudeness or an attempt to get a free telling off. If you do make a very specific request for a session and it gets denied, you really don’t have the right to complain though. Have you ever tried asking a female GP to wear a short skirt for your appointment because her blue one reminds you of your childhood GP? Or asking the supermarket cashier to stand up while scanning your items as it pleases you more to see their body while they work? There are certain things in all business that you cannot have control over – a Lady’s limits and preferences is one of them 

If you simply cannot session without this particular aspect, you have the right to choose another Lady who will have different parameters. You don’t have the right to post negative reviews on her service level because she won’t let you look at her lingerie! Again, that is not what your money is buying you.

You are paying to be dominated. If you contact a Lady and ask her to dominate you by doing x, y and wearing z, you are not asking to be dominated. You are asking her to top you in the way youwould like to be topped, to fulfil your fantasies. If you genuinely want to experience Domination (or Discipline) with a truly Dominant female, you are going to have to appreciate that she is exactly that – Dominant! 

So, in my opinion, if you session with a strict female and she imposes her own rules for play, you are getting exactly what you paid for!

Competitive Caning

Competitive Caning

First let me say that my apparent fascination with alliteration hasn’t gone unnoticed. I hadn’t realised I was quite so obsessed!

 

Perhaps a slightly misleading title for this blog topic, though I hope an attention grabbing one. I wish to approach the subject of ‘severe’ punishments. For the most part I am referring to caning, although my point is possibly valid for some spanking sessions too.

I will start by making a declaration:

 

It is a fact that I am not the hardest caner on the scene. I’m not ashamed to admit that as it simply isn’t my goal.

 

Every so often I am approached by a new client requesting a ‘severe’ punishment. Not only is this difficult to judge as the word itself has very different meanings to different people, but it also adds a certain amount of pressure to my role. Generally, people who request this type of session as their first are experienced on the Pro scene and have visited several Ladies in the past. As a relative newbie to the professional circuit, this can automatically give you some rather large boots to fill!

Prior to offering Disciplinary services, the vast majority of my CP experience was gained in one to one D/s relationships. These, like most human relationships that don’t involve the exchange of money, were gradually built up over time. Often, I would chat for several weeks with someone online before agreeing to meet in person. Play was certainly never on the menu until a much later stage, and would then only begin at a low intensity while we took the time to build trust and learn each other’s reactions and preferences.

Meeting and playing with clients on a professional basis is an entirely different beast! Though I always take the time to have a chat prior to commencing the session, it can often be no more than 15 minutes before the two of you, as strangers, are up and playing. Of course, the more people you meet on this basis, the easier it becomes to read signs and notice subconscious hints during play, but it still won’t happen instantly.

I would much rather err on the side of caution for a first meet and leave you potentially wanting a little more as opposed to simply ploughing ahead and dealing out as severe a caning as I can muster. The implications are far greater if it’s taken beyond your limits than if I leave you feeling like you could’ve taken a tad more from me.

Generally, I seek the kinds of relationships I am used to – ones that develop over time. I prefer to learn and grow with a person, pushing them a little further each time and testing boundaries. I appreciate this will not always be the case in this industry – not everyone will share my opinion and desire for something as longstanding. Many people adore the quick thrill of visiting different Ladies each time. It adds to the anticipation, after all.

It is mentioned on my site that I will not book a Judicial style scene with anyone I’ve never played with before. I find that too dangerous a way to be formally introduced. I would go as far as to say that the same applies for severe punishments. If I don’t know you at all (save for an email exchange and a quick cup of coffee), I won’t be able to tell if you are in trouble as easily. It may be that you are usually able to take extremely hard beatings but for some reason today it is hurting in a way you cannot handle. Can you imagine the panic of trying to communicate this to me if we’ve agreed it should be severe and I should carry on despite complaints?

A very regular client of mine was due for punishment recently. It was to be a harsh one as he had broken a direct promise to me. Over several months we have developed a fantastic relationship and I can read this gentleman better than he can (he would agree or, at least, he’d better do!). He takes a very good beating indeed. We began with a hand spanking for a warm up and after only five minutes with a firm hand he had begun to squirm in a way that was usually reserved for much later in our sessions.

Neither of us really know quite what – perhaps the weather, perhaps the very severe scolding beforehand – but something unexpected had affected his pain tolerance that day. Adjustments were made very quickly regarding the intensity of the warm up and his position, and soon the nasty pain had passed and he was able to withstand the usual force.

Had that been someone I had no prior knowledge of, I could quite easily have taken those early squirming signs as good ones and ignored any protestations believing them to be very much part of the play. This would leave the onus on the submissive to stop the play – not something many submissives either want or are good at. Highly unlikely I’d have seen that client again under those circumstances.

I appreciate this blog may deter some of the harder players out there from booking with me, but I would rather put you off than have you book with me for all the wrong reasons. I don’t want you here simply because I have canes and advertise services. I want you to come because you want to play with ME. I won’t session with just anyone who can stump up the cash, so why should it be the same the other way around?

This is not a competition. It’s not a race to see who can take the most or how badly you can be marked.

If the sole focus of your session is to experience the hardest possible punishment, I am not the Disciplinarian for you. There are others out there (and I can recommend one or two) who can and will wallop you with far greater intensity.

 

If, however, you value longevity, the development of genuine trust between two people, and a chance to grow and explore your own CP / Discipline journey with someone, then why haven’t you emailed me already?!